You Can’t Press Pause
In November 2018 I made a physical piece of theatre exploring a breakdown of communication in a long-distance relationship. The two performers in the same physical space who were never able to cross paths. The physical tension became a metaphor for the cracked conversations over bad signal unable to communicate with words what each wanted to say.
And now, when there are so many words between us
Blocking congesting clogging up our airways suffocated
In words, I give you more
Because I have pushed you away with my screams,
Told you to let me be alone and now I am
Alone with my words and your letters.
Stuffed into every envelope, into boxes, into books
Into every part of my body
Weighted down by stabbing torrents
of slippery words
that have caught us both and
cannot be unsaid.
And would we want them to be?
Because at times they have been a lifeline,
A constant where all else has failed,
Where we had nothing else
We relied too heavily on them
Filled each one so full of meaning and intention that
overfilled they burst their seams.
there is a pile to the left of me where a tangled heap was dumped
I do not know how to pull out each strand, each sentence each clause
I do not know what to do with our discarded words
But the more I touch that heap, the bigger it grows
A hydra that iterates the same conversations, each dealing a heavier blow.
I would say that I want to talk to you,
But I have nothing to say
I don’t want to add any more to the mess that we have already made.
Performed at Fourth Monkey Theatre Company November 2018
Writer/Director: Antonia Weir
Movement Director/Sound: Alice Gilby
Outside eyes: Rosie Pryor
Stage Manager: Rebecca Snook
Performers: Antonia Weir